Self-love And Self-acceptance: 5 Keys To Achieve It
Are self-love and self-acceptance related? The truth is that yes, because loving ourselves, with defects and virtues, is only possible if we accept ourselves as we are. In fact, self-love stems from one’s acceptance, so both concepts are not as distant from each other as it might seem at first.
At the moment when there is no self-love, a series of unpleasant emotions and feelings are revealed, such as insecurity, loneliness, fear, anger, shame or guilt. That is why we are going to see these two concepts separately, to later learn the keys that will allow us to come to love each other.
What is self-love?
Self-love is, simply put, the ability to love ourselves. However, this is very general and we must not lose sight of the fact that each person has a different concept of self-love.
For some it is taking time for yourself; for others it is practicing some physical exercise or doing things that make us happy. Finally, it is also related to eating well and healthier.
These are some of the meanings about self-love and the ways to achieve it. For each person it is different. There are those who enjoy taking walks in nature, having time to read books, treat themselves to a massage, cultivate healthy relationships, or leave room to be. The essential question here is what is self-love for us. Reflecting on it is necessary.
What is self-acceptance?
Self-acceptance is a very important concept that is linked to that of self-love. In this case, it refers to the ability to accept ourselves as we are and treat each other with affection, even though we are aware that we are not perfect.
The best thing would be to come to accept us unconditionally. However, it is clear that the road is not easy, since comparisons always make us doubt.
When we accept ourselves as we are, we can say that we have good self-esteem. Regardless of whether we speak loudly and this tends to annoy others, that we have a very expressive face that is always criticized, that we make mistakes. We are not perfect, but we are unique and this is valuable.
Keys to fostering self-love and self-acceptance
Now that we know a little more about the concepts of self-love and self-acceptance, it is important to learn what are the keys that will help us to approach them. However, we already mentioned that the way to achieve this is not easy.
Therefore, if you need help, do not hesitate to ask for it. Psychologists are there to help us be well and fully.
1. Let’s stop talking bad to each other
This is one of the most important keys, because we are not aware of what is happening. During a day we must pay attention to how we speak to each other.
Surely we realize that we say “I’m stupid” , “how stupid for not having foreseen that mistake!” , “I’ve been wrong, I’m useless” , “I don’t know what I’m doing in this job if I’ve made a fool of myself . “
Identifying these negative judgments we make and letting go will be a first step in cultivating self-love and self-acceptance. A trick that usually works very well is to think if in our own situation we would say “you’re stupid” or “you’re not doing anything right” to a friend. The answer is no? Well that’s it. Let’s change the way we talk to each other.
2. Out with the comparisons!
Cervantes was an author who wrote the history of Don Quixote in a wonderful book, key in Spanish literature. In it there is a phrase that says the following: “comparisons are always hateful . “
If this was already thought in the seventeenth century, why do we continue to do this today? We are unique people and this is what makes us special. Comparing ourselves will only make us unable to accept and love ourselves as we are.
3. Let’s start accepting our imperfections
Even the person who may seem the most perfect to us is actually not. We all have blemishes and this is fine.
Being perfect does not exist, because there is no one in the world who is like that. Therefore, it is convenient to accept the imperfections and even reflect on whether they really are such. If it has to do with physical beauty, we only have to see some paintings in art.
Throughout history, what was considered perfect has changed and seeing it can help us to relativize what we consider to be not perfect in ourselves. From all this you can see the good part that allows us to accept ourselves as we are. Self-acceptance is key in self-love.
4. Let’s take care of ourselves
Another way to foster self-love and self-acceptance is to take care of ourselves. How many times do we let others make us feel good? How many more of us forget about our needs to focus on others?
We must take responsibility for ourselves, have time to enjoy it alone, do things that we like. Let’s do this without depending on anything or anyone.
5. Toxic people, better away
Finally, to promote self-love, we must clean up the people around us. Sometimes they are part of the family, sometimes they are part of friendships or relationships at work.
Detecting these toxic people is important to put distance. They tend to point out the flaws, criticize us and question us. This is not going to do us any good.
Self-love and self-acceptance go hand in hand
Now that we know what self-love and self-acceptance are, as well as some keys to start putting them into practice in our lives, what are we waiting for?
In the event that we cannot do so, let’s remember that psychology professionals are there to help us out. These issues are closely linked to mental health. One always comes out of the therapies strengthened, so we go for our own love.
