Clinging To Someone Is More Painful Than Letting Go

Instead of clinging to someone, you have to learn to let go, even if it is to be alone. We must understand that we do not need anyone but ourselves to be well

Clinging to someone for fear of loneliness, for fear of losing that which seems to maintain the common thread of life could cause much more pain than letting go of that person and starting a new stage. 

Many people have the idea that they should try their best for a relationship, even when they don’t feel good about it, because “they have to have a partner to be happy and complete”, “to give their life meaning”, and therefore in the end they end up sad, exhausted, lost and surrounded by limitations.

But, what is the use of striving to fulfill those ideas if deep down they do not make sense of anything and do not bring well-being? Wouldn’t it be better to let them go? Why stay terrified in a corner of the room and let yourself be eaten by fear of change?

Let’s reflect on this further below.

3 reasons holding on to someone can be more painful than letting go

1. Resisting change always causes pain

The changes represent a new order and involve stepping outside the comfort zone in order to stay on track. Sometimes they are subtle, but other times they are radical and for that very reason they are very scary. However, whatever their nature, they do not necessarily have to have an exclusively negative impact.

It is entirely up to us to appreciate its positive impact and take advantage of it to move forward and add learnings and experiences.

Clinging to the same thing, thinking of phrases like “better known bad than good to know”, without stopping to think about how this can affect us is not healthy. In other words: letting ourselves be paralyzed by fear and stagnating can do us a lot of damage. 

In this same vein, clinging to someone out of fear of what might happen when we are alone could be a sign that we are with that person so as not to face our fears. This, whether we like it or not, is an unfair situation for both you and the other person. For this reason, you have to gather courage, put things in perspective and solve things in the best possible way.

2. Clinging to idealizations prevents living reality fully

Clinging to someone without being in love is sometimes a sign that we did not know how to interpret the morals of fairy tales and that we idealized the famous “they lived happily and ate partridges”. We were too literal and we engraved in our minds a formula that goes something like this: full life = life with a partner.

Because of this, perhaps today we unconsciously continue dreaming of that happy ending, that is why we avoid changing, letting go and touching something in our relationships.

Sometimes our fear is so great that we may even be able to chain relationships with others so that we do not feel alone or failures. Everything is to achieve that ending (misinterpreted) of a fairy tale, as well as that idea that “we are not complete if we are not with someone.”

3. Letting go is scary, but doing so helps you not depend on anyone else

Although we are afraid, we must learn to let go of certain relationships and situations in order to be well with ourselves. Let us not exaggerate the consequences or make the positive effects of each election a zero to the left. Is it really worth losing ourselves just to stay with someone who does not even add us and prevents us from valuing ourselves and being better people?

We can be alone, without a partner by our side, and still feel good, progress in life and develop fully. Loosening knots and raising anchors is part of life. In addition, it is valuable learning in many respects.

Who can help you to let go and close processes correctly?

If you are going through a difficult situation on an emotional level, we recommend that you go for a psychological consultation. The professional can help you channel your thoughts and emotions, and manage everything you feel so that you do not get tied to discomfort.

Remember that anyone can take advantage of the psychologist’s consultation when they consider it. Not necessarily when you are sad or going through a difficult situation. The idea is to take advantage of the services of the professional to put things in perspective, learn to use effective management tools and turn the page, while still valuing teaching.