Learn To Control Jealousy

Jealousy is part of human nature. It is an emotional response that is produced by a complex psychological process in which there is fear of losing something that one owns. In relationships, they can be considered a double-edged sword. Although it is one of the ways to show interest in the other, it can also be the source of many conflicts.

And it is that, once they are installed with force, the person increases their insecurity and begins to have behaviors and reactions that are unhealthy for the relationship. For this reason, although they seem harmless, it is essential to learn to control them when they begin to be stronger and recurrent.

Are you too jealous and insecure? Is the situation affecting your life as a couple? Learn to control this feeling by following some simple recommendations. If you do not succeed, remember that you can always resort to couples therapy.

Determine what is the source of jealousy

To understand why jealousy is due, it is important to analyze where it comes from. Sometimes they are the result of a lack of self-esteem and self-confidence.

They can also be based on previous experiences. If so, it is essential to turn the page and understand that each relationship is different.

On the other hand, the fact of having grown up in a family environment where parents were reciprocally jealous may be influencing them. Many say that jealousy is the product of love, but Dr. Gwendolyn Seidman refutes this belief flatly.

According to her research, Dr. Seidman establishes 6 causes of jealousy.

• Low self-esteem.
• Anxiety and emotional instability.
• Unsafety.
• Excess of dependence on the partner.
• Inferiority complex.
• Fear of not being loved.

As is clear, none of these reasons involves love for the partner. It is essential to spend time finding the root of the problem and looking for solutions.

Try to increase your self-esteem

Having good self-esteem is key to controlling jealousy more easily. When there is self-confidence and one’s qualities are clear, comparisons and the fear that the other person will leave decrease.

It is essential to work on this aspect, since the more confidence there is, the more control there is over these emotional responses. For this, it is advisable to do your own projects and try to be autonomous.

Let your partner have their space

In the stage of infatuation, it is normal to want to share all the moments as a couple; however, it is necessary to learn to respect one’s own spaces, since both can wear out.

Absorbing the other person and beginning to limit them in some respects is one of the worst actions. If each one cannot be without the other at certain times, they will end up getting bored and affecting the relationship.

Always being with someone does not guarantee your fidelity. Thus, it is better for each one to have their own space without the other reproaching them.

Talk to your partner

All the couple’s problems are solved through communication. If both of you are confident enough to say things without generating a confrontation, you will surely be able to channel those negative emotions.

Sometimes it is necessary to talk about it even if it is difficult to accept jealousy. Questioning the situation that triggers it can be the way to curb insecurity.

Dialogue builds trust and allows you to get to know the other person better. Thus, little by little, the ability to reason in a moment of jealousy improves.

Avoid destructive thoughts

Dozens of people start to have obsessive jealousy over situations that only happen in their head. Negative thoughts increase insecurity and make you believe that things are happening that do not exist.

Past situations or the fear of losing the person lead to imagine infidelities in situations that are everyday. It is essential to control physical and verbal hostility in those “threatening” moments.

Jealousy: something to ponder

Before exploding due to jealousy it is convenient to breathe and take a space alone. The anger that is produced by an annoying situation can cause a strong crisis in the couple.

This feeling prevents you from thinking clearly and makes you see things that are not always what they seem. You have to think with a cool head, when the moment of anger has passed. In this way, you can reflect on the situation that produced the jealousy, and detect if it is real or if it is the product of your own insecurity.

Are you going through a crisis due to jealousy? Determine why you can’t control them and follow these recommendations to improve your life as a couple. If these are caused by repeated infidelities of the other person, consider if you really want to be by their side.