When You Love It Is Difficult To Say “no”, But Sometimes It Is Necessary

The first thing you should love before starting a relationship is yourself. Only in this way will you be able to set limits and know how far you are willing to go

Where are your limits? Surely, when you love, you have never asked yourself this question. However, it would be very important that you start thinking about her right now. Because when you love you know how difficult it is to say “no”. There are things that you do not like, but it is very difficult for you to refuse to endure them or even do them. The reason is that love for your partner subdues you. To such an extent that you can become totally dependent on it.

When you love saying “no” is necessary

When you love it is necessary to say “no” in those moments in which your values ​​are being transferred. Because, as in any relationship, it is true that sometimes you have to give in and find a middle ground. For example, if I don’t really want to see that movie, but you love it. I can make the effort if on another occasion, if it happens the other way around, my decision is respected.

However, what happens when our partner tries to manipulate us? Or is she jealous because we meet up with our friends? Here it is necessary to stand firm and say “no.” Give ourselves the place we deserve and stop submitting. Because this will undoubtedly lead us down a very rugged path.

Our dignity must always go ahead. However, sometimes, love makes us so blind that we abandon ourselves to the other person, giving them the right to hurt us.

Phrases like “whoever loves you well will make you cry” or “without you I am nothing” have caused humiliation, disrespect and countless situations to be tolerated in relationships in which we would have to say “no”. Refusing outright to continue supporting something that, without a doubt, is not love. Rather, abuse, control, manipulation, pain … So, if you love, even if it is difficult for you, you should know how to say “no”. When you feel like it and when the other person transgresses your limits.

What are your limits when you love?

To know what are the limits that you must bear in mind when you love, first you have to reflect on your values. For this you can make a list and collect all the values ​​that are important to you. Maybe it’s respect, kindness, generosity, freedom… Think about them! But above all, put them on paper.

Once you have done this, make a column right next to those values ​​and write everything that, if it happens in the relationship, would be a reason to leave. I mean, these will be your limits. What you would not tolerate, that if it happened just once you would say “no”, you would put a barrier and the relationship would end.

Thinking about limits is something much more difficult. Because it seems that when you love, you have no limits. In fact, it is amazing what sometimes we are willing to put up with in a relationship, what we put up with. Perhaps a limit for you is infidelity, abuse, lies or indifference. Write them down and keep them in mind. As with values, you have to be true to them and not tolerate anyone overstepping them.

The concept of love when you love

The fact that when you love you do not know how to say “no” or set limits or give yourself the value you deserve is because we have a very harmful concept of love, but still in force in society. Love is considered giving everything for the other person, giving ourselves body and soul, to the point that it becomes responsible for our own happiness.

We believe that having someone by our side is very important, because being alone is a disgrace! So when we have a partner we do many things so as not to lose it. One of them is to allow it to exceed our limits.

When you see on television that many women are abused and do not denounce their partners, but go back to them, what do you think is happening? They have allowed their dignity to be trampled on and allowed the other person to make them believe that they deserve everything that happens to them.

In conclusion, if you love, you have to love yourself first. Give yourself value, know what your vital values ​​are and where your limits are. Only then can you love in a healthy way and allow them to truly love you.